That shit happens real easy.
It starts out...
...painkillers.
Using Demerol because your knees are shot!
Before you know it, you're chewing codeine with breakfast.
Then a truck comes out of nowhere...
...and you're talking to God, saying, " Help me out, Big Guy.
I pay taxes and go to church.
What's with this dead wife and kid shit?"
But He ain't answering.
He ain't taking calls that day.
Instead, I get a call from the fucking league.
They're saying, "Kid, your career's over."
I say, "Why?"
Because I gambled.
Why is there an injury report in pro football?
Nobody else has one.
But pro football does.
You know why?
That's so gamblers will have an accurate spread!
It's all business. They push until you blow your brains out.
Like Billy Cole!
Can't you see the hypocrites took away my life!
When you're done pitying yourself, the door's that way.
You bastard.
And then some.
Sign my card?
Sorry I was so bitchy before.
- Your dad's pretty pissed. - He'll get over it.
You were his biggest hero.
Since when?
Since I was little. You should've heard him.
"Jimmy this, Jimmy that. Best quarterback in the game."
When you got busted, he quit watching.
Does he punch all his heroes?
Who are you?
- This is the guy? You sure? - It's him.
The kid with the million-dollar arm?
Don't look like much.
Which of you looks more like my dick?
Say what you got to say, or get out of my way.
Grab him.
It's okay, folks!
It's okay. It's okay.
Thank you. Thank you.
Danger is my middle name.
Don't try this at home. I'm a trained professional.
There's me...
...and there's Super Dave.
- I got bad news and bad news. - Give me the bad news first.
Someone bounced Jimmy Dix off a car.
Now give me the bad news.
I got a statement from Hallenbeck's neighbor.
The day he died, Mike Matthews came to Hallenbeck's house...
...to discuss a case.
So Hallenbeck says.
How come Hallenbeck's neighbor claims...
...Matthews' car was in the same spot all night?
Why did he lie?
Matthews is fucking his wife.
That's why the car was there. Matthews was fucking his wife.
Hallenbeck just got back to town.
Christ!
Joe wasted the bastard himself.
He waltzed right out of my office.
I let the son of a bitch go.
Give me a chance. I'll get him.
Tommy.
You can go to a party when you're 17.
Morning, Joseph.
We got trouble, Milo.
Pick up his gun by the trigger guard.
Give it to me.
Is there a problem?
Yes, there is. Apparently, there are too many bullets in this gun.
Fingerprints.
Naughty boy, Joseph.
You just shot a policeman.
It's you, Daddy.
He's awake.
Make sure.
I'm awake.
You nearly broke my wrist.
Milo warned us to watch out for him.
Fuck that! Fuck you.
Look at him. He's nothing. Guy's a piece of shit.
Got a cigarette?
Cigarette? Sure.
I got a cigarette.
Got a light?
Yeah, I got a light.
Hey, I thought you were tough.
He's not so bad.
I dropped my cigarette.
May I have another?
Sure.
Sure thing, buddy.
I'm going to need a light.
Touch me again, I'll kill you.
Bamba! Baby!
Oh, baby! Two for two!
We got a two for two!
Told you!
Jesus Christ!
You fucking killed him!
He's dead!
Is there a problem?
He just killed him! He put his fucking nose through his brain!
I needed a light.
Joseph, you don't disappoint me.
You took an awful risk. Pablo could have shot you dead.
If you wanted me dead, you'd have killed me already.
That's true.
- Can we do a formal introduction? - Who gives a fuck?
You're the bad guy.
I am the bad guy.
And I'm supposed to tremble with fear?
Something like that.
Fine. I'll start trembling in a minute.
In the meantime, could I have a drink?
I don't see why not.
Take the corpse away, and fix Mr. Hallenbeck a drink.
Make that two.
If it isn't Shelly Marcone himself.
Careful, son.
Just my friends call me Shelly.
You got friends? When did this happen?
You sure are feisty for a fellow in your position.
Teach him some manners.
Touch me again, I'll kill you.
What fucking conspiracy are you talking about?
Hallenbeck's a fruit loop.
He's been after Senator Baynard for years.
You want me to believe the senator's mixed up in this?
I'll say it again for the cheap seats, lieutenant.
I don't know where Joe is! That's my fucking statement!
Write it down and shove it up your ass.
I could nail you for obstruction.
You couldn't nail a $2 whore. Charge me with something or let me out!
My husband did not kill a cop!
Aside from that, I can't help you. May we go now?
Can I have a minute with your mom in private?
Pleasure.
Do you deny being sexually involved...
...with Matthews prior to his death?
Why am I calling? I had to hear your sweet voice.
And I need a favor.
No, it ain't like that.
No, it wasn't no liquor talking.
You're not fat. You're just a whole lot of woman.
Do me a favor, big mama.
Senator Calvin Baynard. He's a season ticket holder.
Punch up the address where you send the tickets.
Good girl.
Don't worry. I'll find him.
How?
When in doubt, try the nearest bad guy.
Football is a dying beast, Joe.
No heroes left.
Not anymore.
Since old Sonny Werblin paid $400,000 to Joe Namath in '66...
...the bastards have gotten greedier.
God Almighty, when's it enough?
Jesus! Free agents!
"Give me, give me, give me!"
Now you got guys on PCP, shooting themselves on the field.
The American public's tired of it, and they're changing the channel.
The ratings are down.
So you'll bribe senators to legalize gambling.
Legalize sports gambling.
You see, with all the heroes gone...
...only legalized gambling will save the beast.
You follow me?
We're talking about big bucks.
We're talking billions.
That's nine zeroes, son.
I'm not your fucking son.
Have you ever heard of the Senate's Commission...
...to investigate gambling in pro sports?
Is that who you're paying off?
The Commission votes in March.
I got them all in my hip pocket, except Senator Calvin Baynard.
I tried to bribe that son of a bitch.
He gave it back because it wasn't enough.
- What's he want? - 6 million.
Or he'll go straight to the police.
It'll just be cheaper to kill that son of a bitch.
Taking off a senator is ballsy, even for an asshole like you.
You said it, Joe-boy.
That's why we'll frame you for the senator's murder.
As chairman of the Commission, I'll simply say this:
I'm reviewing both sides of the issue with utmost care...
...and scrutiny.
I will adopt a position...
...based on what is best for the sport.
In the meantime...
...I can't wait to get to the Coliseum to watch my favorite team...
...kick hell out of Tampa Bay.
Thank you, senator.
Always a pleasure.
Come on, Jimmy, think, think, think! What would Joe do?
He'd shoot everybody and smoke cigarettes.
But I have no gun.
- How'd you get here? - I hitched.
I meant, how did you find me?
My dad's a detective. What can I say?
You didn't cover your tracks. You're easy to trace.
Just what I need: Nancy-fucking-Drew!
I brought you this.
Where did you get that?!
Stole it from Dad's closet.
He'd kill me if he knew.
You'll kill yourself first, you jerk.
Take this ugly monkey and get out of here.
I want to know what's going on.
Watch CNN. Go!
Those are the bodyguards from the picture.
They're leaving without the senator. Now go!
I'm coming too.
You can't come. Go home.
Kiss my ass.
Kiss my ass!
Is that clear enough?
Fine!
You little brat.
We'll only follow. How dangerous can that be?
We're in position.
The senator's men are en route. ETA, five minutes.
Now where you going?
Let's find out.
Here.
I told you no guns, right? I hate guns.
Stay here. I'll go look around. Stay!
Six mil.
Excuse me.
Did any of you stupid shits bother to frisk this fuck?!
He could be a goddamn cop. Will you frisk him?
Take it easy.
Hand him the briefcase, Joseph.
Nice suit.
Was that briefcase loaded with explosives?
10 pounds of C-4, going to the Coliseum now.
It's ironic, don't you think?
This bomb will be delivered to Baynard by his own bodyguards.
After his death, the police will receive a photograph of you...
...handing over the case.
You'll be blamed for the crime.
They'll believe it.
- They know you're a fan of Baynard's. - Go fuck yourself.
That's not polite.
It's very abusive sounding.
What would you do...
...if somebody told you to go fuck yourself?
Would you cut one of their eyes out?
What would you do?
You think you're so fucking cool.
You think you're so fucking cool!
This once...
...I'd like to hear you scream...
...in pain!
Play some rap music.
Hey, Flash.
Rescue attempt?
Blow me.
You must be James.
He does that with everybody.
Calls me Joseph.
You're alone?
No, I got the Vienna Boys Choir with me.
Is everybody stupid here?
Just you.
Shoot them, bury them.
Scared?
Shitless. You?
More or less.
Hey, mister!
Like my puppet?
Get her out of here.
My name is Furry Tom.
I said go, kid.
Kid stays.
Can you make him talk?
Go on. Try.
Go ahead. Take it.
It's riddle time.
Why did Mr. Milo cross the road?
I don't know. Why?
Because his dick was stuck in a chicken.
Fur ball?
This is the first pussy you guys have seen in a long time.
Especially this fat fuck.
Where'd you get the suit? Gangsters "R" Us?
Why is she here?!
It's not his fault!
I'll kill you both!
Get in line.
Here.
What do I do with it?
Point it and shoot!
Keep down!
Any bright ideas?
Go fast!
Good idea!
Push this fuck off the road!
Put your seat belts on!
This is bad!
Very bad!
You all right?
Shit!
Any chance he's alive?
Not now.
Call the cops!
Say there's a bomb at the Coliseum!
Senator Baynard's in danger! You got it?
Happy birthday. Buy yourself a new pair of pants.
Let's get the bomb before it gets Baynard.
Got a car?
Do you got a car?
The keys.
No.
Give me the keys or I shoot the kid.
Daddy!
You're the dumbest guy in the world.
You save the guy that ruined your career...
...and avenge the guy that fucked your wife.
The girl said her dad's name is Joe Hollen...
He stole my car and went to the Coliseum.
He set my pool on fire. The man is a lunatic!
Give me 10 black-and-whites. He's going to the Coliseum.
If we go any faster, we'll travel back in time.
There!
Pull up and I'll yell at them.
I'll yell at them.
That's a lame plan!
Can we try?
Bulletproof glass. He won't hear you.
- What're you doing? - Drawing a picture.
- Of what? - A bomb.
It looks like an apple with lines.
"Don't open the briefcase, it's full of fruit."
You want to draw it?
Happy?
You kidding?
Always criticizing!
I forgot.
"Bom" is "fuck you" in Polish.
It's not funny. I almost bought it.
Tragic loss to the art world.
You'll lose them.
Buckle your seat belt.
It's broken!
I swear, if I survive this case, I'll dance a jig.
There! There!
The off-ramp we just passed!
Where you going? What are you doing?
Ain't I a bitch?
Now do we go to the cops?
I'll think about it.
Expecting a call?
Hey, motherfucker.
Where are you, bottom of the pool?
On my way to the ball game.
Someone here wants to talk to you.
Hi, Daddy.
I'm okay. I'm not hurt.
You back off...
...or I'll show your daughter what a hot date I am.
- What happened? - He has Darian.
What do we do?
We take Marcone. It's the only way.
We do nothing, they'll kill her anyway.
Careful with that case. It goes "bang."
Look at all this.
Shredders.
Police and the DEA use it to blow locks.
They explode on impact.
Kill everything within 10 feet.
Put this on. Get in. You in or out?
I'm in. What can I lose?
We're going to a ball game.
That's Marcone's car.
Come on.
- Always wanted to do that. - Should've shit on it.
I forgot to tell you, you're wanted for murder.
Mr. Dix. Long time no see!
Yeah, too long.
- We're going to see Mr. Marcone. - Sure, go ahead.
Jimmy, you bastard! You broke my nose!
What are you doing here? You were kicked off the team!
How'd you like to be kicked off the planet?
Have a nice game.
How you doing?
You are one dumb bastard.
You know that?
I guess we won't dance that jig.
You okay?
Of course she is. She's been with Uncle Shelly.
I'm okay.
Lose the guns.
Take off your coats. Relax.
What do you think Baynard'll do...
...when he learns you tried to kill him?
He doesn't have a chance.
Shortly, Milo will have him...
...in the sights of a high-powered rifle.
Where's he shooting from?
You never run out of questions.
Let's just say...
...Milo's in a highly enlightened position.
Why'd you kill Cory?
She took to blackmail. I have no truck with that.
She's one of the sweetest whores I ever tasted.
There's 5 feet of marble between me and you.
Maybe I make it, maybe I don't.
You call her "whore" again, I'll find out.
Jimmy, do what you got to do.
Take it easy.
He should know.
With a face like that, he must pay for it.
If you're fond of this little girl...
...keep your goddamn mouth shut!
Eat shit, you redneck!
Come here.
Goddamn, I'm really glad to see you, Jimmy.
I still have that autographed ball...
...you gave me for my collection.
It's a shame about you.
You had the million-dollar arm, kiddo.
You got hooked on the... What was it?
Demerol!
Because you couldn't stand the pain.
Couldn't take the pain.
Life is pain.
Walk it off, son.
Discipline.
Kids nowadays just don't have no discipline.
Don't you cry, honey.
Come on.
Come sit in my chair.
Let her go.
Put them out of my misery.
There is the matter of the $6 million.
Unless you're not interested.
Let's humor this asshole.
Tell me.
Just me and Flash know where it is.
It's in the back of a white BMW.
We can take you to it.
Milo said the money was destroyed.
You're bluffing.
Think I'm bluffing?
I also have in my possession a tape.
You and Baynard.
Very juicy stuff.
Well, now, let me guess.
If something happens to you...
...that thing will be mailed to the cops.
Close. Actually, it goes to the mob.
They'd be interested to know what you're up to.
Legalized gambling.
They stand to lose what?
Two and a half billion dollars?
They won't be upset about that.
Just their entire bookmaking income.
Go ahead and pull the trigger.
Be my guest.
Don't be surprised if you wake up next to a stallion head.
If you had that goddamn tape you'd have already told me.
This ain't working.
Take your best shot.
I ain't going out like that! He's lying!
- The money's not in the car. - Shut up!
It's in a locker. And I got the key.
Where is it?
Stashed in my shorts.
Easy. Just easy.
Don't. He'll kill you!
He'll kill us anyway!
Promise to let me go.
Bullshit.
Give him the key or I'll kneecap you.
Nobody gets the money. It's one of those new plastic keys.
Get the key!
The kind that shreds.
Get down!
Get her out!
I can't walk.
You going to pass out?
I'll make it.
Plastic keys? The kind that shred?
Short notice. Best I could do.
You did real good.
Learned from a pro.
Shit! You wasn't bluffing.
- Where's the senator's box? - Section C. I'll show you.
Where's the senator's box?
Where's Milo?
"A highly enlightened position."
He must be on those lights.
Find a cop and stay put.
You hear me? Listen to Daddy, all right?
I'll be all right.
Do what I say. Give me a kiss.
Go find a cop.
- What about me? - Find Baynard.
Then what?
Get his attention.
Freeze!
A sniper's on that light! He'll shoot Baynard!
Come on!
There he is! Jimmy Dix!
He pulled a gun on me.
You scum!
He's got a gun!
You bastard! You fuck!
Sit down!
Give me the ball!
Give me the fucking ball!
Thanks.
I said, "Sit down!"
Put down your weapon!
Looking for this?
Asshole!
I told you:
You ever touch me again, I'll kill you!
What the hell is he doing?
I don't know. Is he dancing?
Looks like he's dancing.
For a dancer, he's one hell of a detective.
What's this I hear about Satan Claus?
You know about him too?
There! That's the man!
This bastard's been making phone calls and harassing me!
I bet he stage-managed the whole damn thing!
Arrest him!
Head or gut?
Excuse me?
Mom's here.
I missed you so much.
You know you're a real bastard?
And then some.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Please forgive me.
I'll buy a dog.
Fuck you, Sarah.
If the cops weren't here, I'd spit in your face.
Where's the briefcase they were telling me about?
White BMW. Back seat.
Ain't a thing here.
Bingo!
Marcone's got the wrong one!
What?
What's next for us?
Tomorrow, I guess.
Take it one step at a time.
Daddy, can I go show Jimmy to my friends?
- He's not a puppy. - He's fucking famous.
You want to watch your mouth?
Come on, Dad.
Your father said, "Watch your mouth." Do it.
Yes, sir.
I like that.
I'm thinking I could use a partner.
You up for that?
I don't know anything about being a detective.
There's nothing to it.
Since it's the 90s, you don't just smack a guy in the face.
You say something cool first.
Like, "I'll be back."
Only better than that.
Like, you hit him with a surfboard and say, "Surf's up!"
Something like that.
What else?
That's about it.
Water's wet, the sky is blue...
...and old Satan Claus is out there, just getting stronger.
What do we do about that?
Be prepared, son.
That's my motto. Be prepared.
Subtitled by: GELULA & CO., INC.